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Saturday, July 12, 2008
Written by: Jesus2nd
So about four months after the Yanks we finally get our hands on Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Now we all know how good the other two Smash Brothers were so I’m not going to rant on about how many hours were lost in my bedroom spamming Captain Falcon’s signature move whilst still managing to be knocked off the map by that little twat we all know as Kirby, that pink prick really did and still does suck…The one thing that Nintendo have added to Brawl that sets it apart from the others is the story mode known as “The Subspace Emissary”, now the official Smash Brothers website claims that “the Subspace Emissary is a robust side-scrolling action game!”. No shit Nintendo, who would have guessed that the latest addition to a side scrolling action game would be an element of side scrolling action?
I have not yet completed this “robust side-scrolling action game” because if I wanted to play a “robust side-scrolling action game” I would load up my SNES (and by SNES I mean the emulator I have on my PSP) and I’d play the Mario All Stars.
(However my friend has completed it and says it’s good, so I will take his word for it and so should you)
This isn’t to say that Brawl is a let down because saying such a thing would be just be wrong, nearly as wrong as making me work to unlock Captain Falcon. Thankfully Nintendo have decided to keep in the Classic Mode, the one where you kick the living shit out of numerous enemy’s occasionally with the help of a brain dead AI character only to face the single most creative boss ever in gaming history… the big white glove-thing. Out of all the villains Nintendo have come up with over the years you would have assumed that they would have the ability to come up with something slightly more imaginative than a big fuck off white glove, Its got to be said though, that glove has touched me and many other kids all over the world in ways no other final boss could even dream of.
The character selection is the area that I think shines the most in Brawl, you’ve got a broad selection ranging classics such as Mario and link to newcomers such as Snake and the long awaited… Pikmin and Olimar *cough*. However I’m still confused to why the hell Ness and Lucas are in there. I mean let’s be honest; who plays as them? If you had to choose between either Ness or Lucas surely any sane person would go for the third option? However mistakes such as this are easily forgotten the first time you see Captain Falcon’s Final Smash, because if you thought his Falcon Punch was good then just wait until you see this, it could be compared to rape, however depending on what floats your boat there's not much sexual tension.
The final smashes are a refreshing touch to the game's already highly enjoyable and addictive game play, they range from temporary increases in power and strength to the summoning of meteor storms and even gigantic tanks. It could be said that these final smash’s give the player an unfair advantage but this isn’t uncommon in the Mario franchise (blue shells anyone?) the fact that all players must compete for the final smash means that if your good enough to get to the final smash before the other players then you have the right to use Giga Bowser to lay down some Giga Bowser Rape.
“This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this”
Overall I think that (despite pointing out the aspects that piss me off the most) Super Smash Brothers Brawl is an exquisite game and is without question one of the best games of 2008. Its gameplay is better then it’s predecessors and it still remains to be one of those games that you can pick up play and lose your self in for hours on end. I emphasize now that the flaws that I have picked out do not effect the gaming experience at all they just give it a new twist and me been a stubborn old bastard I’m reluctant to accept such changes. Like a heroin addiction, this game will leave you wanting more and more every time you load it up. Unlike a heroin addiction it won’t leave you with diarrhea, convulsions, vomiting, and uncontrollable body movements. Labels: A Nintendo Fan-boys Wet Dream, guest writers, Jesus2nd, Nintendo, Smash brothers, Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Over and out,
Jesus2nd
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