07: 33 - Next Blog >> #2

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Written by: Melaisis
Edited by: Curio

Ladies and gentlemen, those of you who have waited three months for this, here it is:

My second NEXT BLOG >>

The article where I bring you the worst of blogging on the Internet! From whinny-ass guy-girls named Fletcher Beaver to... well... er... that's all I've done, so far.

Nethertheless, I have been able to write an accurate diary of my search for the next blog to take the piss out of:

Captain Scott's Diary, June 14th, 2006

After reading through Spanish porn crap, moose-lum plots, Gregory's coding pages and a nay-ger bitching about God-knows-what; I'm a broken man. I forayed into the darker side of the 'net frivolously. I was not ready. I continued my search for the ultimate blog. Click after click after click. It was all too much to take. So many French pages! The amount of foreign language was too much to bare! Too many pictures of Effiel Towers and the Da Vinci Code! I decided enough was enough. I had to make camp for the night against the looming cyber-storm.

Captain Scott's Diary, June 15th, 2006

I awoke the next morning, and immediately found a superb blog of absolute promise to be a satisfying piss-take. It went by the name of 'RecoveringOverachiever', and it was gold:

http://recoveringoverachiever.blogspot.com/

It told of a woman's life. A woman with a fear of spiders. Alas, the spiders she mentioned were nothing as big as the ones from the GREAT AMAZON! But were made out to be just as such! Pft! If she was to be faced with Aragog, surely she would know about it! Alas, it gets better than giant, jumping apartment spiders:

While I am certain that "Sugar Honeyridge" had a glorious time at her soirée I would rather not share in her experience of the delectable taste of "Anal Ease" and it would seem I am also lacking the proper equipment to test out "X-Scream". What use is this crappy information but to drive a man around the bend at all this graphical information!? Where did she pick up the name "Sugar Honeyridge" in the first damn place!? How about "Candy Bigass" or "Honey Suxx"? Surely those names actually do their job - and fit perfectly with the description of a pornstar!?

Or perhaps she was also lacking in creativity at the time. I mean, her father chose to go after spiders with a yardstick
- the most inappropriate weapon against arachnids known to Mankind. Surely then, she has come up with "Sugar Honeyridge" - equally the most inappropriate name for pornography known to Man. After all, how many pornstars do you know?

Labels: Melaisis, next blog, porn stars, SPIDERS

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