The Three Rs is a primarily British viral entertainment site, with standings in many niche interests and involved in a variety of different groups. Topics range from gaming to adulthood to the latest fashion.
Hey guys! Since I've started a new side project over at Angsty Me I thought I might as well come and prove my loyalties by making another post on The Three Rs. After all, if I have the creative prowess to make a post on my new blog, surely I can make one here, right? Exactly my thoughts! Although I'm truth, I'm not sure that I've done a lot of late for our normal fans, hence the lack of posts. However, the USA's so-called 'MadTV' has attracted my attention of late, with their quite hilarious sketches. Here are two of my favourites:
You may have noticed that recently there has been an extreme lack of posts here at the Three Rs. I'm not sure why, maybe my reviews are the backbone to this blog or we have used up all of our ideas in the 150-odd posts we have knocked up. Well I'm guessing its the first and without me, the almighty Dee4leeds, there would be no blog. And hopefully by posting I will inspire someone, anyone to post something, anything. (Hmm, that was a good line, you know, the whole repetition thing. The "some" and "any" repeated? Oh go get a job... with a shitty pay... and no benefits... and long hours.)
...and by the way this is my personal favourite tracks on GHIII, not best to play.
5. Tenacious D – The Metal.
4. Killswitch Engage – My Curse.
3. Rage Against the Machine – Bulls on Parade.
2. Slipknot – Before I Forget
1. DragonForce – Through the Fire and Flames
One by Metallica would have been on the top 5 but just misses out becuase of the lack of Johnny Got his Gun sound clips. And sorry the DragonForce video sucks.
So, why the influx of new writers in The Three Rs? Simply because it's in preparation for an upcoming project of mine known as 'Mel's Mates'. Corny as it sounds, this new, separate blog from The Three Rs will focus purely on sex, drugs and roll and roll. At last, we'll have an established target audience and subject matter! Hurrah!
Mel's Mates will also be more er... revenue-based. That is to say, the new site will have advertisements and sponsorships from certain, author-approved companies to help us actually live considerably better-off. Some of this income will also be shared with the writers of the new project, which I'll come to shortly.
That's right: You thought the series of guest writers on The Three Rs was a simple passing phase? Well, you're probably correct. The Three Rs is, and always will be, a simple sketchbook of ideas for me which I'm always happy with sharing with our readers, no matter what the subject content. It also proves to be a good testing ground for myself and my associates to test out new writers for Mel's Mates, and see what they themselves need to work on to be - what I would regard as - top standard before moving onto the semi-professional game.
I will continue to post frequently on The Three Rs about whatever takes my fancy. As previously mentioned, 'Mel's Mates' is for my more worthy content (if I in fact, do choose to post properly on there at all) and for outsiders to the four official members of the Three Rs.
If you followed all that, good on you.
Finally, I'd like to point out to my current fellow writers that THERE IS A SPELL CHECK, UNDER 'EDIT HTML' (it's on the toolbar, thing) WHEN POSTING, THANKS!
Before I continue with my proper Halo posts and bring you closure to the epic story, I must first divulge a very strange and harrowing tale of how desperate the church is to recruit vulnerable young gamers via hosting LAN Halo 3 sessions. Obviously the church has seen that the only way they can pass off their aging doctrine to a radically changing youth is by embracing the deplorable violence they strive so much to criticise. James Tonkowich is the president of the Institute on Religion and Democracy, which is a nonprofit group assessesing denominational policies. He explains, “If you want to connect with young teenage boys and drag them into church, free alcohol and pornographic movies would do it. My own take is you can do better than that.” But the authorities at the church are keen on it and one of them also said that God calls ministers to be ‘fishers of men’ and teenagers are their fish. He added that they just got creative in ‘baiting our hooks.’Sounds like pretty fishy business (XD) to me.
Okay, rant time. Music, who likes it? I LOVE IT. More than most things. So I took up guitar, and it's awsome really. Like cheese. Cheese is awsome. CHEESE FOR EVERYONE! No, scrap that. Cheese for no-one. That could also be awsome if you dont like cheese, no?
So, on with it then. Music. Subject: The Les Paul.
Right, as far as guitars go, Les Paul, made by Gibson USA is the dogs proverbials. Why do you think it's so expensive and renown? Its because it has all the tone of a Phonic God, the asthetics of a walking orgasm and the playability of an air-guitar (you know how you can play anything on an air-guitar? it's like that).
Rundown: Double Humbucking pickups give it tone like warm, thick silk. For peeps who dont know, pickups come in single-coil and humbicking types for the most part. A humbucker is basically 2 singles side-by-side on opposite frequencies. If you put a single coil guitar next to your tv while it's on, you'll get alot of fuzz out of your amp. A humbucker 'bucks the hum' (see what they did there?) so no fuz. It also gives a warmer, deeper sound. Singles give a sharp, high treble sound.
Body can come in a verierty of woods with finishes and everything, as can the neck and fret-board. The action on them (string to fret distence) is usually really low, but with no fret-buz (string bounding off lower frets when plucked). Its this that gives it the awsome playability. the neck is shallow, so real comfort is found here.
Only one thing about the Les Paul deters me. Okay, two things. The price and the weight. That thing is heavy. Its a solid lump of wood so it would be. Play one for a two hour gig and you'll need more than a masuse to sort your shoulder out. More like a monkey wrench. And a wall.
Who plays one? Who doesn;t it more the question. Slash for one loves his. Buckethead uses a custom white Les Paul with a killswitch (more on those later). I had the blessing of playing one and let me say, it was a dream. So comfortable and smooth.
Anyone who wants to buy one, have about a grand and a half ready if you want a decent one. Epiphone do coppies but NOTHING beats the real deal. Same with all iconic guitars, coppies may be good, but they're not the real thing. I would reccomend the Les Paul to any serious guitarist willing to pay for one and strong enough to put up with the weight of the beast. And it is just that: a BEAST!
'Ey up readers. As some of the more loyal ones of you will have noticed: We have a new guest writer. 'Pennycook', however, unlike our previous one-off editorials, it is hoped that this certain author will stick around on the team for slightly longer. Depending on whether or not we regard him as a success Pennycook (or simply 'PC') will be staying on to assist us in other projects lined up, as we slowly move into the commerical realm. I'm sure you'll all make him feel welcome. From now on guest writers invited by myself will have their names displayed in orange to evade further confusion.
Meanwhile, I've gotten my hands on Valve's new Orange Box collection from Steam. Already I've completed the generally hyped 'Portal', and, at the risk of spoiling things, it definitely is worth playing. It is far more than a simple puzzler, but a chilling tale into the rather unethical side of science. Basically, a story as told by a super computer.
Finally, to aid the blog further still, I'm thinking of merging the old En Masse with the 3Rs, as Dee did with his Daily Rants. If you see our post count suddenly shoot up; you'll know why.
Do you know that feeling that you sometimes/often get, when there are plenty of potentially interesting things to do but you can't be bothered to do any of them? That's how I feel right now, why I'm writing about it, and why you're reading my (first) blog entry for the Three R's.
I don't owe you an explanation, but here's one anyway: my Xbox360 has been ill for some time, freezing, chewing up games, corrupting my saves and generally just being a bitch. About three weeks ago I started the process of getting a replacement, only to find that it was going to be near impossible to actually get one unless I could prove that she (the 360) was broken. This, coupled with my inherent student laziness and the imminent release of Halo 3, meant that I couldn't be bothered and put it to one side. She's now sitting on my desk flashing red lights (complete hardware failure, for those of you lucky enough to have never encountered them) whilst I await an e-mail response from Microsoft awaiting further instructions.
I feel like I've done something wrong; that somehow it's all my fault they put together a shoddy piece of hardware; that it's my fault I actually turned my 360 on and tried to use it to play games. When my PS2 suffered similar problems, Sony arranged to send me a new PS2 within a week, and the courier took my old PS2 with him when it was delivered. They also replaced the 10 games my PS2 had scratched circles into at no extra cost.
Microsoft's answer to "customer support"? Well, even though the games are more expensive, my games are damaged to the point of being unplayable and I've continued to support their console over the PS3, they'll send me a new 360 in 4 weeks. Maybe.
If you're thinking of getting a 360, here's a word of advice: don't. Buy yourself a MegaDrive, a GameCube, a SNES or some other system that has stood the test of time. If there's anything we should have learnt from Microsoft's attempts at operating systems and software, it's that they're not capable of doing anything right. At all.
My PC's already made a successful transition from Windows to Linux; it's only a matter of time before I pluck up the courage to tear a 360 apart and force it to do the same. Peace.
Dumb Questions is back! This is installment 8 of 11. That's right, there is an actual structure to the Dumb Questions saga. The number of Dumb Questions are equal to the number of films in the Friday the 13th franchise, hence the catchy titles of these post. Also people who have our rss feed on firefox will realise that you never see more than 1 dumb questions in the feed. Yeah, so this is more than a "blog-filler" it's a "Ounce-of-thought-blog-filler."
So lets begin.
If I save time, when do I get it back?
Well sorry to burst any bubbles but here is a unknown truth...
Our very own drug-pushing, child-molesting Melaisis steals it.
Keep it stum though! I didn't say anything if Scott asks.
If a fat guy falls in a forest and no one is around to hear him, does he make a sound?
Oh, I get it, it's a joke. The original is "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" This is a philosophical riddle that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality. The origin of the question is unknown, but the current phrasing appears to have originated in the twentieth century. A 1910 physics book asks: "When a tree falls in a lonely forest, and no animal is near by to hear it, does it make a sound? Why?" So there.
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
Fellow male readers (and I guess a few females too) take this as a life lesson.
Are there any unguided missiles?
...yes.
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
"Nnnnidunno" Tanget time: Styrofoam is a trademark name for polystyrene thermal insulation material, manufactured by Dow Chemical Company. In the early 1940s, Dow invented a process for extruding polystyrene to achieve a closed cell foam that resists moisture. In recognition of its superior insulating properties, buoyancy and "unsinkability," it was originally adopted in 1942 by the Coast Guard for use in a six-man life raft. Styrofoam can be used for building materials including insulated sheathing, pipe insulation and floral and craft products. Styrofoam insulation has been used in many notable buildings and facilities in North America. The Dow product can be identified by its distinctive blue color. Styrofoam can be used underneath roads and other structures to prevent soil disturbances due to seasonal freeze-thaw cycles. The word Styrofoam is sometimes misused by the general public in the United States as a generic term to indicate polystyrene foam, such as coffee cups, cooler or packaging material are typically white in color and are made of expanded polystyrene beads. The Dow Chemical Company works to educate the public that STYROFOAM is a registered trademark rather than a generic term for polystyrene foam. So there.
If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show?
So, whilst I'm still inspired to continue writing, and I'm quite bored, I figured it best to do something mildly creative and tell all our faithful viewers (according to Google's records, we have them!) what I've been up to.
The first thing of reasonable note is Clix Sense:
That's right, http://www.clixsense.com basically pays you to click on single links at 30-second intervals. It is, I must admit, alright. I'm basically getting monthly cheques through for surfing the web and occasionally remembering to go to the Clix listings and open a few tabs. The advertisements themselves are handy; generally being sites of at least some sort of recognition (such as Starbucks, eBay, et cetera) with good reputations, and you won't get any nasties from visiting any of them. However! There are a few things certainly 'iffy' about ClixSense. 99% of the companies will only pay you one cent each time you click on a link. After three hundred clicks you're not even up to anywhere near the minimum wage in England, but you certainly have done more than an hour's worth of work for it. The other main issue is the whole 'premium members' scene. To get paid for the vast majority of your efforts, you actually have to first credit ClixSense ten dollars to 'upgrade your account' so you can actually gain money. A mere validation check to be done annually, most likely, but it does make the whole thing into a bit of a scam since it takes you like, a month to regain the money you spent signing up in the first place.
In summary, it's more legit than most of these other so-called 'paid to view ads' sites, but is only really worth it if you can be arsed or have a lot of free time.
Now for a little-known freebie!
According to the UK PC Gamer, eMusic are giving away 35(?) free music downloads as part of their promotional package. Apparently a simple sign-up at http://www.emusic.com/pcgamer is required, and then nick off with the tracks, and cancel your account before the 14 days are up. I'm not sure if this is repeatable or not with different accounts or IPs, but it's hardly ethical to encourage nicking off with songs. ;)
That's about it for now. I was going to rant about relationships but I'll save that until another time.
The title refers to literally, My Pictures folder, for those of you who still haven't caught on. Anyway, I've figured out what inspires me to make blog posts, even as small as this: The weather. It's great, blue skies out there right now, despite it being really cold. Good stuff, anyway!
Hello! Fellow Avatar fans from digg.com I have an announcement.
The Avatar reviews are on hiatus until the return of Avatar on UK television. So I shall be back in 4ish weeks with brand new reviews (of old episodes in the US.)
Oh and for the record I shall be writing a post longer than 2 sentences within the next week. I'm sure you will like it.
So yeah. Me and Dee have been talking about getting The Three Rs a real domain name for a while. Today, we did it! http://www.thethreers.co.uk/ is now the new (official) URL of our site. Good stuff, eh? So yeah, I've promised for a while I'd make an entry about the 'contents of My Pictures' folder. What's the big deal? Well, the said folder contains a load of random junk I've picked up from my travels across the Internet. Most of the pictures are downright amusing without explanation, and others, however...
Lately I've gotten into acoustic singer-songwriters. This includes the legend known as Stuart Davis. In true Old Melaisis style, I've butchered his famous 'I Need' song into something more appropriate for my own life. Enjoy.
I need a decent music taste, I need to let life no go to waste, I need someone who isn't fake, I need a cake to make.
I need to restart the Aryan race, I need Atlantis as my base, I need to have a choice, I need a new singing voice.
I need to be a Chav's bane, I need something special to gain, I need to hold out for some hope, I need to lay off the dope.
I need to stay away from Sean Bean, I need to keep myself clean, I need to understand A Scanner Darkly, I need a birthday present for Clarky.
I need to put down the phone, I need to stop chomping on that chicken bone, I need Heart Spark Dollar Sign, I need to start feeling fine.
I need some new MySpace pics, I need a new way to get my weekly fix, I need a DVD of Shooting Stars, I need to start driving cars.
I need a new laugh, I need to learn how to draw a graph, I need to make new male friends, I need to use them to my own ends.
I need to find common ground, I need some treasure to be found, I need to remain blonde, I need to become Mustapha Mond.
Welcome back fellow Avatar fans who probably found this post from a link on Digg.
We join as our heroes float downstream, in the middle of a river that seems to be mostly brown crap. With no chance of catching any food in the crap, they decide to buy some food at a nearby village, which happens to be in the middle of the river, which has been polluted by a nearby Fire Nation military factory. They are ferried to the village by Dock, a rather eccentric man. The village is in a deep depression. Many villagers are sick, and there is a lack of food because of the polluted water. Katara wishes to help these people, but Sokka says their overall mission is too important to stop to help everybody they come across. They buy some food from Xu, a shopkeeper who happens to bear a strong resemblance to Dock, expect for a new hat. (Which I must have.) Before they leave, Katara gives one of the fish they bought to a small child, but as she sees him give it to his sick mother, she wishes she could do more. That night, Sokka is trying to find a way to rearrange their schedule, and mentions that the solar eclipse will only occur for about 8 minutes. In the morning, Appa is found lying on his side, and his tongue is purple. Katara suggests that the village might have some herbs that can heal him. When they get to the village, everybody happens to be in much better spirits. According to Xu, a legendary local river spirit known as the Painted Lady came and gave them some more food. But there is no medicine in the village, as the factory takes it all. Katara suggests letting Appa rest for another day. That night, a thick mist comes across the village. The Painted Lady arrives and heals several of the sick. The child Katara helped earlier thanks her, and the Painted Lady. But the Painted Lady is revealed to be Katara in disguise. The next day, Appa is still sick, so they return to the village. The village is in even higher spirits, and have erected a large statue of the Painted Lady in thanks for healing their sick. Xu/Dock suggests that maybe the Painted Lady could help Appa out. Sokka skeptically notes that the Painted Lady's work will be all for nothing unless she helps them all the time, as long as that factory is still there, and jokingly suggests that the Lady should use her "spirit magic" to just blow it up.
The next night, Katara once again puts on her disguise, but as she leaves, Momo wakes up, rousing Aang in turn. Seeing the Painted Lady, he tries to ask for her help, but she runs away. Aang chases her all the way to the village, where he finally finds out Katara's secret. Appa's illness was the result of her feeding him berries that stained his tongue. Katara sadly confesses and apologizes for holding them there to help the village, but Aang naturally likes the idea. Together, the two infiltrate the factory and wreck it, stopping the flow of pollution. In the morning, the two arrive back at the camp and find Sokka and Toph waiting for them, having found out the truth on their own. As they prepare to leave, they see a squad of Fire Nation troops heading towards the town on speeders, and realize that they must believe the villagers had sabotaged the factory. Katara is determined to stop them, and despite their argument, Sokka readily agrees to help her once he sees that she's set on helping. At the village, Fire Nation General Mung accuses them not only of destroying the factory, but also for stealing the food and medicine that the Painted Lady and Katara had given them before from them as well. The soldiers start attacking the village, but a gust of wind blows their flames out. With help from Appa, Toph, and Sokka providing spooky sound effects, Aang and Katara stage an encounter with the Painted Lady to defeat the troops and drive them away. The villagers cheer the Painted Lady, but Dock/Xu notices that her facepaint has smudged, and recognizes Katara. Several of the villagers get angry, but Katara apologizes, and tells the villagers that they need to deal with their own problems, and offers to help them clean up the river. Dock/Xu goes to get his brother Bushi, which consists of switching hats yet again. Bushi/Dock/Xu also confides that Dock/Xu/Bushi happens to have Multiple Personality Disorder. The gang stays behind long enough to help the villagers clean up their river. That night, as Katara examines the water, a thick mist appears out of nowhere, and the real Painted Lady appears to thank her before disappearing into the mist.
ENTERTAINING!
Episode Rating: 3/5 - Although good compared to the Awakening this lacked that something which could have made it perfect.
As we at the Three Rs strive to push the boundaries of advertising further this is what came up with...
That crudely taken picture of a TV is located in PC World in Leeds City Center. And we got high scores for a handful of songs. Such as this on Heart-shaped Box. Yes the eagled eyed reader would point out the next score is 50,000 meaning no one else has played it, but that is because the hard drive was missing from the Xbox 360. Which was a shame because I wanted to melt peoples faces with my rendition of Beast and the Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold. (We had to settle with a harmonised version of Woman by Wolfmother.)
Mel's Edit: Long-time reader and entourage Sam Newell, who came with us on said outing would like to be creditted for the score above. That's right, folks; we're so famous, we actually got a fan to do the work for us.
Hah!
Anyway, I'll post something soon.
Ish.
Dee4leeds' Re-Edit: I only didnt add him becuase I hoped that it would inspire him to comment on the post.
So I've fucking realised that the only sodding way I can keep blogging at more than one bloody post per bastarding month is to swear more in my shitty posts so that the cockbags who are evidently using their secret technology to suppress my creative nature can fuck off and let me reign the anal blogging scene once more. It is also worth noting, interpret reader, that those so-called 'fat cats' who use their brain-wave-disturbing machines to create imbalance in the patterns of my efficiency are also responsible for those shitty 'Macy's' ads on MySpace and are behind the tunes faggotry made by the pseudo-queer band 'The Postal Service'. Be warned.
(No, it doesn't work you gullible retards)
(Wow; they actually do look slightly homosexual)
Moving on from images that are evidently my attempts (made in vain) to keep you interested in this rant which is featuring more bollocks than CATGURL96's LiveJournal entry (note: User may not actually exist): I'd like to explain the second two parts of my freakin' (technically not swearing) title.
The first of the two remaining topics is that of Ragnarok Online. Since I quit World of Warcraft (no thanks to the cockbags at Blizzard. Even more 'minus thanks' to those who constantly whine, and whine, and whine about them), I've been lost in the great, bushy wilderness somewhat. Sure, I've found ways to pass my excess of free time of late (see: http://www.myfreepaysite.com - Not safe for work... or at home, either) but sooner or later the sour juices of boredom will begin to secrete everywhere no matter how much I try. In steps the attempted substitute for the Warcraft universe: Ragnarok Online. Which has apparently only just launched in Europe!
Yeah, I noticed you arse-munching creators!
While the public relations at Blizzard face an onslaught of abuse for their subscriber basis daily, it appears that GRAVITY Inc. face the exact opposite. Not because good old 'Raggy' is actually a decent game; but because no one plays it anymore. I logged on to the European client for the first time earlier this evening (check the timestamp) and a log-in window popped up to tell me exactly how many people were playing the game at that time.
Now, as tradition with Ragnarok; only two servers were running at that moment in time. And guess how many people were playing on each server?
Two thousand.
Per server.
An utter disgrace if you ask me. I don't care if everyone has supposedly moved over to World of Warcraft. Surely there must be some European-based sad acts out there, somewhere, which have quit the aforementioned and are now looking for a cliche, badly translated Korean grinder. Right?
Or is it just that a professional, now globalised MMORPG run by a supposed 'highly respected' corporation is able to be out-done in player count by a bunch of private servers who have ripped off their software? That's right, folks! The fucking (albeit them international) free-to-use pirate realms run illegally are more popular than the version that people, supposedly, people should be willing to pay for. It's an absolute disgrace! What the Hell are GRAVITY doing to advertise this thing to the European market, eh? I only found out because I had played the game around two years ago, and felt like a bit of reminiscing. We certainly can't assume that anyone can be insane enough to build an entire player-base around people like me! A lot of money could be made if the marketing corp just got off their huge, Hentai-watching, multi-wife beating backsides and actually made some sort of deal about it to the awaiting public.
You may notice that this has turned into more of a rant about the ineffectiveness of a business being unable to succeed. And that's because it has. If you look at Ragnarok as a game, then sure, you can easily pick out it's faults: Out-dated graphics, mediocre gameplay and shoddily translated dialogue with far too many real-life religious references (I swear that within the first ten minutes of gameplay it references 'God' about eight times). But in retrospective, it's a tonne better than the other imported MMORPGs at the moment which have been receiving far too much undeserved press attention (here's looking at you, Lineage II).
In today's world, where more and more people are turning to online gaming by the minute, no so-called 'private' servers should be more popular than the public ones. Simple as. The corporate-owned ones have more capacity, sustainability, accessibility, support and all that sort of nifty stuff. Ragnarok could be a fun, causal alternative to WoW (it certainly is easier to pick up, at least); but because no one knows what it is anymore, people are moving towards other, shitter routes, or being kept in WoW, simply full of resent.
Normally I wouldn't usually make such a big deal about a subject such as this, but if this trend is repeated with new and upcoming online games - with the West rejecting the actual half-decent stuff which gets filtered through, then the industry might as well crumble to the Blizzard beast now.
Finally: It's the Three Rs birthday Saturday!
I thought an appropriate rant was in order to commemorate my time here. ;)
A long time ago, well, over a year ago. I was in possession of a well known (to Scott) blog called Dee4leeds Daily Rants. Everyone (Scott) was well aware of my... random approach to ranting. Examples such as this where I prove my dislike of the extortion of superhero films by merely listing films, or this possible gem where I talk about how we (Scott) should save water usage, (EVEN THOUGH WATER IS IN A CYCLE!) So for the first birthday of these hallows we now inhabit I though I would go back and do a new random rant...
The topic shall be called "Killing Rage Songs in the name of"
So what is this about? Well its this...
...yes that's right. That is the single worst monstrosity to ever grace the music scene.
For you not in the know this is a remix of a legendary rock anthem, "Killing in the Name," by the God's of "Politically Charged but not so much that the song is not Universal" music, "Rage against the Machine." I feel I should be walking down the streets of merry old Leeds burning an effigy of this "Mr Oizo." But I would probably be deemed as a weirdo...and by that I mean more so than usual. So instead I come here and vent my steam about this ungodly subject. Because as Scott said in a early post "On the Internet, the Rules Change." And truer words have never been said. Actually that's wrong, truer words have been said. They are: "That is the single worst monstrosity to ever grace the music scene," when talking about the remix of "Killing in the Name." So basically Mr. Oizo this is an official death threat, never touch Rage songs again. (Blog free speak Act circa 1995)
And talking about remixes of classic songs...STOP IT. No one cares and it is not music.
First of all, let me just confirm that the overlong title is indeed because I got bored of brainstorming mildly witty and chortle inducing headings and instead settled for half arsed references to popular H3 multiplayer maps. Must admit it did make me chortle, but only because it was so pathetic and lazily thrown together. Anywho, because I'm a sad act Halo loving fanfag (and also more accurately because tackling Halo solo campaign on legendary is slightly more difficult then I thought it would be, slightly meaning incredibly in this context) I am going to separate the review into segments, like storyline, gameplay etc. Which also means you can read the specific parts you may be interested in, aren't I considerate of reader preferences -.-. And so, the first part of my review goes to the multiplayer....
Commonly thought of as the steak of the Halo...well Steak Pie, the multiplayer has always been the driving spearhead that has kept Halo above the rest. An intelligent matchmaking system that pits players of similar skill level against each other on randomly selected maps, frenetic combat of upto 16 participants in countless different game modes and variations with many diverse weapons and vehicles, and of course the famed medal system, arguably the most well known aspect of the multiplayer experience. So whats changed? Well, in all honesty, several aspects have changed and not necessarily for the better. To begin with, the intelligent matchmaking system has become a lot less intelligent. Sure it does its job and puts people of similar skill level to together,but theres no improvements and in fact, the amount of time it takes to get a game sometimes with a party of people is mildly frustrating, sometimes as long as 7 or 8 minutes before a game is confirmed. The maps are also lacking the charm and playability of great legends such as 'Lockout' and 'Sanctuary', hopefully such revised map packs will be available for download soon. The frenetic 16 player combat also remains, its enjoyment enforced by such brilliant game modes like 'Oddball' where you must hold the skull for the longest time whilst instantly killing enemies by swiftly smacking them with it, and other old classics like 'Multi Flag CTF'. However there are no new, creative variations with wich to play, just revised versions of ones from the previous game and from other similar FPS franchises. Fortunately, this is where the more negative criticisms cease, as far as multiplayer is concerned anyway. The weapons are as widely ranging and creative as ever, from the more primitive but powerful additions like the Mauler (Dual Wieldable, Handheld Sawnoff type Brute weapon), the Spiker (close range smg projectile type brute weapon) and the Gravity Hammer (Large melee type Brute weapon), to more technologically advanced yet equally powerful tools like the Spartan Laser, a personal favourite of mine, which after a charging period of 5 seconds unleashes a devastating beam of energy that wipes out all in its line of fire. Other weapons that were less popular in Halo 2 have been revised to become just as useful as the usual preferred weapons. The Needler being a good example, a weapon that shoots homing crystalline shards that detonate soon after impact. Sounds good, but until Halo 3 was a relatively weak weapon with unfulfilled potential, now however its so good it cannot be dual wielded. Another factor Bungie has heavily improved upon is with vehicles, many new additions such as the Brute Chopper (hulking motorcycle contraption) and the Mongoose (versatile, agile buggy) have added even more novelty and quality to an already vastly enjoyable list of fully usable mechanical beasts, adding new tactical, challenging dimensions to the game. Of course, who could forget the medal system, the thing that in my opinion is one of the most satisfying aspects of the multiplayer experience. The feeling of gratification when a yellow double starred medal appears accompanied by the sound of 'Double Kill' is only comparable to that of the notorious quake sound 'Headshot' of CSS and just makes getting kills so much more enjoyable.
Unscoped Double Headshot :P.
On the whole, the Halo 3 multiplayer experience is pretty much everything I hoped it would be. All the old classics are there in terms of vehicles, game modes and weapons as well as some additional welcome debutants and the fast paced frenzy of bullets and nades remains compelling entertainment. No matter how many times I play, I still can't help but enjoy the experience
Part #1 Complete
Vehicles:10/10 So many vehicles to enjoy, too diverse to mention. Bucketfuls of novelty that keep you wanting more
Weaponry:8.5/10 Great new addtions, but can't help but feel that some weren't as creative as could have been (or I thought they could have been). Despite this, weapons are still numerousn and each have their own useful quirky quality.
Game Modes/Maps:8/10 My only small grievance is with the maps, but when the revised classics are brought back, this rating may change, but only if newer, different and more radical game modes are also added however.
Overall: 9/10 Not perfect, but not far off either. The fanboy in me would love to give this game 10 in all factors, but as an intelligent individual I just can't, as there are so many little things that have could have been tweaked to brilliance, and as we know, its the little things that count most of the time. Perhaps with time and further effort from Bungie this rating will increase (or decrease :S)but I'll just have to wait impatiently :(. And yes, I'm sad enough to put basic emoticon type things in my text.
Afterthought: I was going to include my opinions on the Melee attack here but I've decided it would be slightly more suitable in my gameplay segment. I will link it here for reference just so you know that this particular criticism only concerns multiplayer but doesn't seem to fit into the structure I've produced above.
For the record my gamertag is 'SteTehPr0digy' if you feel inclined to be pwned by a pr0, or pr0wned as it were. No seriously check my stats n00b, I r w1n XD.
That I should find such things while perusing this place of persecution is a trifle worrying... though I suppose I've myself to blame, after all, if there is no one here to rant, how can a rant be...wrought?
Sod the technicalities, it's things like technicalities that have given me ammo to fire at our ever expanding, ever improving educational system.
I will start with one simple statement, and many won't like it, to you I say enjoy the mines, it's where you should sodding well be!
The statement is thus: Some people should simply NOT be allowed to continue education.
Harsh words indeed but it's the truth of the matter, all this pandering to idiots is damaging us to a degree that you might not at first realise. All this crying out about having too many doctors, or lawyers and other such professions while we don't have enough builders, or plumbers and tradesmen in general.
There is a very, VERY simple reason for this. And I will use my own current place of education as an example.
The reason friends, is that people such as the Mighty Urquon, Destroyer of Worlds are allowed into courses that they clearly should not be on.
Allow me to "break it down" for you.
To take a history course at A level, you should at LEAST have a B in GCSE.
A B? A Freakin' B!?
"But what about all those people with C's?" I hear you cry, "That's a recognized pass I'll have you know!" You bellow.
Yes.
Yes it is.
A recognized pass by employers indeed. Technically, so is an E.
The fact is, C is the "accepted" pass because it is the AVERAGE grade. Now, call me an idiot here if I'm wrong, but I was always under the impression that, to take an advanced course, (In this case an A level) you should have an advanced grade...advanced being, yup, you guessed it folks...
ABOVE AVERAGE.
How one Earth, do you expect people such as my fine associate, Urquon Reaper of Souls, to even make a reasonable attempt at such a course, when he even seems to have trouble accepting the truth of the Holocaust!
Now, C is generally what is accepted nationwide to the best of my knowledge, (A B was required for sciences at several colleges I investigated.) Park sodding Lane however, doesn't even require that. In fact, it doesn't even require the GCSE to be taken in several of it's subjects, citing them simply as "preferential".
Preferential to what? Preferential to being stuck in a class of people who can't grasp the simple, SIMPLE concept of a society which shares everything, in place of purchasing.
In fact, one bright spark even asked "How would you buy things?" after being told that you would not need to buy things.
Fucking Idiot.
Now...this "rant", (if such a small adjective can even be applied to this condensation of wrath upon your screen...) has thus far been focused on the topic of history courses, I assure you however, it applies across the board.
You should not be on a science course if you cannot do science, thinking you can, does not mean you can.
You should not be on an English course, if you cannot READ. The same applies to Law.
You should not be on an Art course, if you are not artistic, saying "Oh yeah, it's MODERN" is only going to result in me ripping you're intestines out, and smearing them on a canvas.
That's a new style. I call it Justice.
And you should definitely, DEFINITELY not be on a maths course, if basic numeracy is too much for your primal, simian, defunct excuse for a cognitive powerhouse to handle for more than 3 seconds before you have to say "Eh?".
Basically, get the idiots out of the education system, If I have to listen to Urquon Ender of All Things tell me that History is only useful for "controlling people" ONE more time, I'm sticking his eyeballs to your canvas.
So whilst Dee gets over-excited about Avatar, and Ste goes into hysterics over Halo, I'm doing something completely different. That's right, folks, as at our 'college' every year we do something mildly prestigious for the righteous event known as 'Children In Need', I thought I'd share some ideas with The Three Rs today. Also: If you're wondering what's happened to my WoW-esque fanfiction (see: A Writer's Mess, Continuation #2, Continuation #3 et cetera), then I have decided to postpone that epic for now, until further positive feedback/demand is received.
So, as for the ideas for this year's 'big event' (ahem):
ILLEGAL, SURREAL BUT LIKELY (i.e, Oddy's suggestions):
'Fat Boy' Contest (eating). (Mural-Based Interpretive) Dance-Off. Synchronised Freestyle Walking. Naked Baking. Scratch that: Anything Naked. Anything Wii Related (Wii Golf et cetera). 'Wash The Mosh' (Throw sponges at a so-called 'unclean' person). Sponsored Nile Headshave. Lesbian Mud Wresting. Foxy Boxing. Pillow Fight (en masse). MORE LEGAL, BUT UNLIKELY (i.e, the sane side):
Judging Competition For Best Six Form Costume (50p entry, but there's dispute over the reward). A band (either a new 'teacher' band or Penders' Egocentric Arseholes). MC Conny T Concert (Featuring a collection of hits by yours truly).
As you can clearly see, we are more in need than these said unspecificed 'children'.
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