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Yeah it's been a long...long...long time coming but yeah the movie lived up to the hype.
Although when exiting the movie me and TehProdigy agreed "Good but could of been better" but at, in a retrospective mode, we decided the film "Lived up to the Simpsons name but there are episodes which are better." Such as "Homer the Vigilante" and "You only move Twice."
We also seemed to agree that the movie should of referenced jokes from the show such as the "Ladder backwards jump" and the "Vigilante style action" but in retrospect I believe that could of create a major backlash where people feel they are paying over the odds for old jokes.
The film was full of truly "Laugh out loud" (lol) moments where I "pissed myself laughing" (pmsl) but it was also full of truly "Thinking of laughing" (tol) which weren't good enough. Shame.
I really doubt this review can be done by anyone other than myself. So here we go...
Recently I was browsing through the 700s on the Virgin EPG or Children's as it likes to be called. I came across the channel "Cartoon Network Too." (Yes it is "Too" not "Two")
What was on?
What do you think?
Pokémon: Battle Frontier.
But that was not so good because of the usage of Pokémon from 252 upwards. But I noticed the movie "Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea" was on after. And I, at some point, would like to view all (currently) 11 pokémon films, so watching was a step in the right direction. So guess what? After viewing I have decided that viewing the newer films will be a good thing. Why? Because they have got rid of the rubbish corney-ness of the first 3.
The film was a good, solid 2 hours. Yes. 2 hours. Not 94 minutes like nearly all animated films. And the 2 hours was filled to the brim with action and storyline. The film is on the basis that an egg of a Manaphy is found and has to be protected by these people. All is going well until the evil pirate "Phantom" wants the egg for his evil mis-deeds. Mwahahaha. A-hum. This is where our heroes Hiro, Ando, Whoops, Ash, Brock, May and that small child no one likes come in. The egg hatches and they have to get him to..."The Sea Temple" or as the title of the film likes to call it "The Temple of the Sea." They get there action happens, your entertained. Every things OK in the end...or is it. (I'm not going to ruin it.)
My only main problem with the film, other than the non-usage of the original 151, is that they created this new villain "Phantom" when the story would of benefited from usage of an old character such as the Pokémon Collector from the Second film. But that's just me, I felt having someone who we already knew was dead set of collecting Legendary Pokémon would of added more depth and character, than a quite caricature-ish Pirate.
Other than that A good all-round film which proves a decent Pokémon film is possible.
Movie Rating: 4/5 - Yes, it was that good. (But now I've over-hyped it there is no way it can deliver.)
Oh I've thought of another complaint with the film. Ash's voice. His balls have dropped.
And my entire row erupts with laughter. Suffice to say, that was the most entertaining part of the entire film. Yes, I'm being serious. Harry recounting his kiss in the form of a deeper sexual innuendo was better than the rest of the entire three hours put together. Now, on reflection, the opening scene when Dudley and Harry encounter the Dementors was sufficiently loyal to the book. It was a great piece of cinema, including everything from the lighting to the special effects. After that, however, the story veers off that one which is included in the books by a reasonable amount. So much so that it really did seem like a few random chapters had simply been picked out, changed to make them slightly worse and non-cannon, and shoved into film form. Out of the five movies so far, I can easily say this is the one which lacked so much faith to the original book it was supposed to be 'based' on. I'm surprised that Warner Brothers even bothered buying the copyrights to this production, as it came off as a Donnie Darko/Catcher in the Rye mash-up, rather than an actual wizarding epic.
Here's some things they left out, for a small group of examples:
- St. Mungo's. - That Dumbledore is the Secret-Keeper to Grimmauld Place. - The whole character development of Tonks. Or, in fact, the rest of the Order. - This includes the scene in Dumbledore's office, where he is charged for raising the 'DA'. In fact, they leave out the whole 'Let's call it the 'DA'!' thing in the first place. Anyway, yeah, when Dumbledoore is confronted by Fudge and the crew as to the origins of the DA, he and Kingsley unleash the ownage within the novel. In the film, however, Albus simply disappears rather unspectacular. - Kreacher, whilst appearing in the movie, doesn't actually do anything. They could have totally left him out, in fact. The whole 'House Elf who is actually working for Death Eaters' arc is totally left out and unexplained. - 'Mother Black's' portrait makes no appearance, aside from the aforementioned Elf attending to it from behind the curtain. - Cho's friend doesn't give the DA away. Instead, it is Miss. Chang herself. There is no curse put on the scroll that the members of the Army sign. - They ruined the finale; Like, totally. They only include the Hall of Propehies and the 'Veil' room (although the archway doesn't even have a FOOKING VEIL ON IT) in the Department of Mysteries. The whole 'Locked Room of Love' is totally left out, as well as the room/s of brains and the planets. - Dumbledore doesn't enchant the statues outside the Ministry to protect Harry/send for Aurors/attack Voldemort in the film. - Bellatrix quite clearly casts Avada Kedvara upon Sirius at his death and the arch sort of takes him away to a distant plane. This is cack. Readers of the book, upon looking on sites like MuggleNet or whatever, widely believe (as I did) that Bellatrix simply stunned Sirius, and he disappeared behind the veil. The movie absolutely obliterates this, making it quite clear that there's no return for Black. - S.P.E.W is totally disregarded. - Fred and George's leaving is totally mediocre compared to the novel. Since 'Peeves', according to the films, doesn't exist, they leave out the legendary 'Give her Hell from us, Peeves!' line as they leave.
And those are only a few things, I'm afraid.
As a hardcore Potter fan, I am thoroughly disappointed. I know many people will retort with 'well it's hard to include that much in a film!', but with most things, the screenwriter simply really did slip up and didn't plan it properly. That's my opinion, anyway. If I hadn't read the book, I'd probably be of a different (albeit confused) mind.
Review by: Dee4leeds
Well...I think this film comes under the heading "Good film, bad adaptation," just like many other films (which escape me as of this moment).
I think only only which really pissed me off was the fact that they left out the whole Neville Longbottom could be "the boy who lived." (Which I think will be the twist in the last book, that the reason Dumbledore devoted so much time to Harry was to divert Voldermort away from Neville. Also making Neville use his fathers wand to make him look like a weak, bumbling student. See, KICKED YOUR ARSE!) That pissed me off. Going back to Scotts point about Tonks...why wasn't there more on screen time with her...she was hot!
I guess thats the beginning middle and end of this review.
Movie Rating: 2/5 - Are you looking forward to Half-Blood Prince.
Review By TehProdigy
I have to concur, the film was absolute shite. I was skeptical before it, instead opting to see the more satisfying Die Hard 4. I wish I had gone alone, because the film was total bollocks. As Scott has already stated the storyline was rarely stuck to, many important details were left out and it wasnt true at all to the nature of the book.
It could pass off for a bawdy teen comedy with all the innuendo though, the best moment with the whole 'wet' thing particularly piss-inducing. Other classics include Harrys sweaty seizure to which he wakes up to find Ron suspiciously hovering over his groin, and when at the point of Sirius' death, harry screams relentlessly, possibly due to the moustached man raping him from behind.
Overall though the film was shit, there was no slight redemption for it in anyway. Apart from alerting Emma Watson to my attention.
The following is the transcript from a podcast I did a while back. I was sorting through My Documents today (once again) and came across it. So, having not made a blog post in a while, and definitely not made one that 'ranty', I decided to stick this up to compensate for the lack of satire:
Today’s rant, will be about…
FINAL FANTASY!
The series of games by Square Enix and Squaresoft on the Playstations. Not the porn movie.
Now, if you’ve been awake whilst listening to my last few podcasts – which is unlikely - you’ll realise that I use the music from certain games of the series – most notably Final Fantasy 7 and Final Fantasy 10 for effect. This is despite myself actually not playing 7 and not really liking 10. However, Advent Children, the spin-off movie sequel to 7 was half-decent (after I picked up the storyline from Wikipedea). Both games have decent music, though. Unlike 8 and 9, both of which I have played.
Talking of movies and music… did anyone actually SEE Spirits Within? What the CRAP did that have ANYTHING to do with a Final Fantasy game!? Nothing! A stand-alone motion picture might of seemed like a good idea at the time, Square – but didn’t you think the Bouncer would be a good stand-alone game, too?
Heheheh.
I find the storylines in nearly all Final Fantasies past about six to be too damn weird, though. I mean… what the crap was seven about!? A LIFESTREAM?!? When since have you seen a planet that is LIVING!? And eight was slightly more reasonable – EXCEPT FOR THE SHITTING TIME WARP AT THE END DISC! AND THE BILLION THEORIES that Rinoa is actually ULTIMECIA IN THE FUTURE!
What the SHIT!?
Oh, I suppose I oughta of warned for spoilers earlier… but meh. Who gives a Puck’s ass?
Nine was just WEIRD. The protagonist AND antagonist were genome BROTHERS!?
Ten and Ten-Two weren’t that strange. Spira was a typical fantasy world. Except when Square coughed-up in an interview that ShinRa in Seven is actually Shinra’s project from X-2. Apparently, the Al-Bhed develop SPACE TRAVEL and use it to go to Gaia. So Shinra buggers off and dominates the planet there.
EH!? THANKS FOR RUINING THE IMMERSIVE ELEMENT THERE, SQUARE! IN THE ONLY STORYLINE THAT MAKES SENSE!
The next thing… the next big thing that stands out to me and other fans in the series alike, is…
THE FUCKING CHARACTER DESIGN!
Want examples? Alright, here goes – Final Fantasy 7:
Cloud: My name is Cloud. I’m a mercenary and GREENPEACE ACTIVIST. THUS I AM COLD-HEARTED AND VERY COOL; AS YOU CAN TELL BY MY LONG SWORD.
Septhiroth: I am Septhiroth and I am Square’s way of telling the world that gay men are bad. You know I’m gay by my wicked smile and long hair. I make appearances in the game which really don’t make sense. I ALSO AM EVIL AND A SUPER-SOLDIER WHICH YOU CANNOT EVER BEAT. EVER! PEWWWWWWW. THIS IS MY FINAL FORM! NO! THIS IS!
Aeris: My name is Aeris. I serve little purpose in the game but to look pretty and be killed by Septhiroth. Who is gay. Cloud! Saaaaaaave me!
As you can see, this formulates a basis on which millions of 12 year olds will base their… ugh…
Roleplay characters. Surprisingly, though, Septhiroth seems the most popular to emulate among young boys.
Ew.
Due to Final Fantasy and other such games which simple, 2D character designs, the world of roleplay has taken a tumble into the depths of godmodding and gay sexual fantasies. For example:
Nerd 1: Hey! I’m Septhiroth, I BEAT EVERYONE! LOL!
Nerd 2: No man, I’m Septhiroth! I BEAT EVERYONE IN MY FINAL, FINAL FORM! I’M NOT GAY, REALLY.
Nerd 1: No! I’M SEPTHORITH YOU N00B!
Nerd 2: No! I am! I even have the long hair like him!
Nerd 3: I’m Legolas. Anyone want buttsecks?
Sadly, both the first and second nerds were probably right. Final Fantasy contains any number of cloned characters. Or characters with mysterious pasts. Or characters possessed by some sort of strange spirit from another world. It seems the boundries of bullshit that Square go to in order to make a story seem sensible are limitless.
As the series progresses, you can find more and more influence on today’s Internet-obbessed youth just by looking at the characters of Final Fantasy. Look at Squall: Squall: I am Squall. I am cold. I am anti-social. I’m supposed to be cool but hardly help the story progress if it was left to me alone.
True to today’s society, too. Squall is the typical goth. But because he can beat unrealistic monsters twice the size of himself, people think he’s ‘cool’ and take after his image. Look at Final Fantasy 9’s protagonist.
Zidane: I am Zidane. I am half-monkey. LOOK AT ME GO! I HAVE NO STORYLINE WHICH IS JUST MADE TO COUPLE WITH KUJA’S AT THE END OF THE GAME! YAY! HEY GARNET, WANT SECKS?
Surprisingly, the Zidane-like figure appeals to quite a few youths of today.
Oh, mainly to girls. Which all seem to be want to have a half-monkey or half-catgirl or half-moose nowadays. Pft, save it for the bedroom, ladies. Moooooooooo.
When it comes to 2D characters, X and X-2 is RIPE with them. Tidus is always optimistic and a crybaby, Auron is always badass in order to balance this. Rikku and Yuna both are supposed to have sexual flair and fail at pulling it off, whilst Lulu is supposed to be the down-to-earth one and gets herself knocked-up at the start of FFX-2.
X may not have he stunning visuals or ‘creative’ (NOTE THE INVERTED COMMAS) storyline of its sequel, but let’s compare a typical battlescene dialogue and see which comes out on top.
This is X:
Seymour: Muhahaha! I am Seymour! The antagonist! You can tell this by my voice and dramatic villain-esque flair! Yuna! You must marry me!
Tidus: Never! Yuna will never marry you!
Seymour: Oh really?
At this point, Seymour turns into… well… something. I’m never quite sure what his alter-forms are supposed to represent, but meh.
Tidus: What the crap is that? I mean… er… YUNA! GET BACK!
Yuna: Magus Sisters, I CHOOSE YOU!
Now, let’s compare that to a battle scene from X-2. Yuna: What’s THAT!? Vegnagun!?
Vegna: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!
Rikku: Oh my God! Oh my God! Aaaaaaaaah! We’re all gonna die! Yunie! Help! Yuna: Calm down, Rikku. Paine, what can we do?
Paine: Well, as the Auron stand-in in this game, I think we should do something.
Yuna: Like!? What!? C’mon, you’re the lesbian! You’re supposed to be smart!
During the last half-term, during my Blog-a-Blog marathon, I created a post which was me explaining that I had a craving for music. Well I now have that craving back. So I was thinking I'll just do that post again, but I felt that was a cop out so I spent today trying to think of better ideas. But I gave up and its the cop out version of this post. (Just take this post as how to look at my musical choice...actually don't.)
I have a rather large project in the works (it fits 69 sides of A4 paper so far) which I'll post snippets of once it's finally completed upon the blog. I've also considered buying a life from eBay of late. Psh. Screw that. Instead, I'll leave you with this little video to sort of relate to Dee's post about female rockers not too long ago. Sure, Paramore are alright(ish), but I enjoy the mighty sounds of the Dresden Dolls a hundred times more:
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