The Three Rs: 12: 15 - Harry Potter And The Order Of The SHIT!

12: 15 - Harry Potter And The Order Of The SHIT!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Written by: ALL

Review by: Melaisis

"How was it?"

"Wet."

And my entire row erupts with laughter. Suffice to say, that was the most entertaining part of the entire film. Yes, I'm being serious. Harry recounting his kiss in the form of a deeper sexual innuendo was better than the rest of the entire three hours put together. Now, on reflection, the opening scene when Dudley and Harry encounter the Dementors was sufficiently loyal to the book. It was a great piece of cinema, including everything from the lighting to the special effects. After that, however, the story veers off that one which is included in the books by a reasonable amount. So much so that it really did seem like a few random chapters had simply been picked out, changed to make them slightly worse and non-cannon, and shoved into film form. Out of the five movies so far, I can easily say this is the one which lacked so much faith to the original book it was supposed to be 'based' on. I'm surprised that Warner Brothers even bothered buying the copyrights to this production, as it came off as a Donnie Darko/Catcher in the Rye mash-up, rather than an actual wizarding epic.

Here's some things they left out, for a small group of examples:

- St. Mungo's.
- That Dumbledore is the Secret-Keeper to Grimmauld Place.
- The whole character development of Tonks. Or, in fact, the rest of the Order.
- This includes the scene in Dumbledore's office, where he is charged for raising the 'DA'. In fact, they leave out the whole 'Let's call it the 'DA'!' thing in the first place. Anyway, yeah, when Dumbledoore is confronted by Fudge and the crew as to the origins of the DA, he and Kingsley unleash the ownage within the novel. In the film, however, Albus simply disappears rather unspectacular.
- Kreacher, whilst appearing in the movie, doesn't actually do anything. They could have totally left him out, in fact. The whole 'House Elf who is actually working for Death Eaters' arc is totally left out and unexplained.
- 'Mother Black's' portrait makes no appearance, aside from the aforementioned Elf attending to it from behind the curtain.
- Cho's friend doesn't give the DA away. Instead, it is Miss. Chang herself. There is no curse put on the scroll that the members of the Army sign.
- They ruined the finale; Like, totally. They only include the Hall of Propehies and the 'Veil' room (although the archway doesn't even have a FOOKING VEIL ON IT) in the Department of Mysteries. The whole 'Locked Room of Love' is totally left out, as well as the room/s of brains and the planets.
- Dumbledore doesn't enchant the statues outside the Ministry to protect Harry/send for Aurors/attack Voldemort in the film.
- Bellatrix quite clearly casts Avada Kedvara upon Sirius at his death and the arch sort of takes him away to a distant plane. This is cack. Readers of the book, upon looking on sites like MuggleNet or whatever, widely believe (as I did) that Bellatrix simply stunned Sirius, and he disappeared behind the veil. The movie absolutely obliterates this, making it quite clear that there's no return for Black.
- S.P.E.W is totally disregarded.
- Fred and George's leaving is totally mediocre compared to the novel. Since 'Peeves', according to the films, doesn't exist, they leave out the legendary 'Give her Hell from us, Peeves!' line as they leave.

And those are only a few things, I'm afraid.

As a hardcore Potter fan, I am thoroughly disappointed. I know many people will retort with 'well it's hard to include that much in a film!', but with most things, the screenwriter simply really did slip up and didn't plan it properly. That's my opinion, anyway. If I hadn't read the book, I'd probably be of a different (albeit confused) mind.

Review by: Dee4leeds

Well...I think this film comes under the heading "Good film, bad adaptation," just like many other films (which escape me as of this moment).

I think only only which really pissed me off was the fact that they left out the whole Neville Longbottom could be "the boy who lived." (Which I think will be the twist in the last book, that the reason Dumbledore devoted so much time to Harry was to divert Voldermort away from Neville. Also making Neville use his fathers wand to make him look like a weak, bumbling student. See, KICKED YOUR ARSE!) That pissed me off. Going back to Scotts point about Tonks...why wasn't there more on screen time with her...she was hot!

I guess thats the beginning middle and end of this review.

Movie Rating: 2/5 - Are you looking forward to Half-Blood Prince.

Review By TehProdigy

I have to concur, the film was absolute shite. I was skeptical before it, instead opting to see the more satisfying Die Hard 4. I wish I had gone alone, because the film was total bollocks. As Scott has already stated the storyline was rarely stuck to, many important details were left out and it wasnt true at all to the nature of the book.

It could pass off for a bawdy teen comedy with all the innuendo though, the best moment with the whole 'wet' thing particularly piss-inducing. Other classics include Harrys sweaty seizure to which he wakes up to find Ron suspiciously hovering over his groin, and when at the point of Sirius' death, harry screams relentlessly, possibly due to the moustached man raping him from behind.

Overall though the film was shit, there was no slight redemption for it in anyway. Apart from alerting Emma Watson to my attention.