The Three Rs is a primarily British viral entertainment site, with standings in many niche interests and involved in a variety of different groups. Topics range from gaming to adulthood to the latest fashion.
Well in just under one month we have managed to produce 12 posts. (Including this one, that is.) That is well over the amount of normal posts we do. So I thought I would do a like this time 12 posts ago for each site.
Any guesses as to what this post is about? That's right...water polo. I mean Football, more specifically the Highest award a football team can win. It is an overview of how England fared in the tournament. "That's not so good, Al" That's right Happy days character. England were shit and they know it. So it complies a list of the people who's fault this travesty was created by. I won't say by who in this review thing (*cough* Frank Lampard *cough*) but I will say if that person is in the England team by the next World Cup I will eat Wombatlords hat.
Ok. Ok. This post isn't 12 post ago. But as on his blog he has only done three posts, so this is as close as we are going to get and as he is currently in Japan or whatever he won't be making any more, any time soon. So this is his first ever blog post, his step into maturity you could say. He admits to only creating an account to comment on Melaisis's blog. Ok second paragraph is censored from my eyes. (Thank the Lord for parental control.) He addresses his online status and tells you to *CENSORED Off* So as I can't see it I will guess it says "Get Off" in a very aggressive tone! All in all he makes his opening post set the bar for the more unadulterated fun and action coming up! (Well, not really as he only did two posts after that, but you know what I mean...hopefully.)
The essential part to any blog site is a article you can fall back on in times of lacking creativity. This is Melaisis's. Basically he clicks the "Next Blog >>" button and finds a site worth ranting about. In this case he has Incorporated a diary to it. Interesting...well it would be until you can tell he is trying to sound like the king. William Shatner! (Who the hell is Elvis?) Well after a good nights sleep he arrives at some site. He rips the piss out of her blog, she falls, he grabs and finally they end up sitting under the stars with a ring on there fingers. Or did I just make that up? (Nar, I never make things up.)
Also known as 'Howl's Moving Castle'. Although personally, I have never seen anything which could look anything different from a 'castle' in my entire life:
Yes, the picture above is what is supposed to be the setting for this horrible movie. Now, for those of you who don't know the plotline, it goes something like:
Howl is a pimp. He is also a magician. He has a moving castle which is powered by a demon which has Howl's heart. Said demon also lends Howl his extra power to turn into a giant bird. Why? No fucking idea. So anyway, the ability to turn into a giant bird is taking its toll on Howl, and he's slowly turning more and more into some sort of feral beast for keeps. This is only the beginning of the unexplained bits. For a full 'plot' summary, I suggest you go to:
Now, there's no denying that this is a good movie... animation wise. After all, it was concieved in a smelly Japanese sweatshop where the workers were probably paid two pence an hour in working conditions that even EA would be ashamed of to hand-draw the 'anime masterpiece of the year'. I should of really noticed how shit it was going to be since Miyazaki directed it. Sure, he might of come out of retirement to direct the great - if not equally confusing - film that was Spirited Away; but he should of at least considered going back on his pension after finishing it. I'd say Howl's Moving Castle signifies the start of Studio Ghibli's return to the 'old norm' of shitty, childish and down-right stupid movies such as 'My Neighbour Totoro'. The quality of the animation has grown since the 1980s, but really, the plots are as moronic as ever.
Staying on the note of the 'production quality' of this movie - I must say, the voice acting was rather... shit. The only British voice actor was actually an actress - Emily Mortimer. Never heard of her? Neither have I. Not only were her lines shabby, incoherent and uncomfortable to simply listen to; but because she was the only one with a proper, English accent - she stood out like a paedophile in a nursery. To add to these factors - the voice was poorly dubbed - meaning some lines didn't even make sense in context or explain the story that well.
Related to this, is character development. Upon watching the movie for the first time, I was quite impressed. But after the second watch - I became a bit suspicious about how 'deep' the characters actually were. Now, it is typical for Miyazaki to give the protagonist every ounce of depth and story that is available and possible. In his defence, this happens with Howl's Moving Castle. We can see Sophie gain self-confidence and a somewhat more adventurous nature as the film progresses. But what about the other characters? Nothing. The film features a lot about 'love' and relationships. This would be fine for open-minded old me... if it was done well, that is. Instead, the other characters simply proclaim they love each other without reason like some dreadful Shakespearen romance.
It seems, once again, Ghibli have taken the most disturbing and unfunny story they could find out there and made it into a film to be swooned over by anime fans with no taste. Pft.
This is a topic which really gets on my tits. Why is this show classed as children's nonsense? When it doesn't hit its recommended TV demography of 8-11 years olds and hits 15+! Its clearly a adult show with many Japanese influences.
If you watch the show you can skip the next part.
Premise of the Show
Avatar: The Legend of Aang is set in a fantasy world on a planet that is home to humans, animals and supernatural spirits. Human civilization is divided into four pre-industrialized nations: the "Water Tribes," the "Earth Kingdom," the "Fire Nation," and the "Air Nomads." Within each nation, there is an order of men and women called "Benders" who have an inborn ability to manipulate their native element. Bending is a powerful art form, combining martial arts and elemental mysticism. The bending arts are Waterbending, Earthbending, Firebending, and Airbending.
In each generation, one Bender is capable of bending all four elements; this is the Avatar, the Spirit of the Planet manifested in human form. When an Avatar dies, the Avatar Spirit reincarnates into an unborn baby native to the next nation in the Avatar Cycle. Starting with the mastery of his/her native element, the Avatar learns to bend all four elements in the order of the cycle, which parallels the seasons: winter for water, spring for earth, summer for fire, and autumn for air. It is shown in the series that learning to bend the element opposite of one's native element is extremely difficult, as a result of opposing fighting styles and opposing doctrines.
The Avatar also has a unique power that resides within him called the Avatar State. This channels the powers of all the Avatar's previous incarnations into one massive energy that is directed at all enemies around him. Although the Avatar State is incredibly powerful, at this time the Avatar also becomes most vulnerable. If he is killed in this state, then the spirits of all past Avatars will die along with him and the Avatar Cycle will be permanently broken - the Avatar will "cease to exist." This state can only be triggered when the Avatar is in an intense emotional state or in great danger; it is a defence mechanism of the Avatar. It can also be released when someone the Avatar loves, such as a friend, family member or beloved, is in trouble. When the Avatar enters this state, his eyes and mouth (and, in Airbender cases, tattoos) begin to glow brightly and the voices of the past Avatars can be heard behind his/her own.
Throughout the ages, countless incarnations of the Avatar have served to keep the four nations in balance and harmony. The Avatar also serves as the bridge between the physical world and the Spirit World, home of the world's disembodied spirits as well as many entities who existed at the beginning of the world.
End of Premise of the Show
Now from reading that you can clearly see its not a simple, 10 a penny, kids show. The closest thing to Avatar is the Matrix. Neo - Aang. Trinity - Katara. Morpheus - Soka. Nebechnezzer - Appa. If you wanted to you could class it as the tv spin-off of the Matrix The show is also very violent, people being killed by the means of: being burnt alive, drowning, suffocation, fists and kicks and clear smashed bones. (You get the picture.) And the show also has symbolism. Savior, spirits, reincarnations and such.
Now reasons for it being shit.
Dur. It's about a 12 year old boy
Who cares how old he is? When he is in the Avatar state his age will be somewhere in the thousands!
Dur. It's not even on Earth
Huh? What kind of reason is that? It's a fictional show.
Dur. It's on Nickelodeon.
Now this is the main topic which gets on my tits. Why, if a shows on Nick, should it be doomed to obscurity. I'm sure you watch something on Nick. eg. Drake and Josh, Spongebob and Complete Savages (Another clearly adult show.) If Avatar is so childish why do they show uncut versions late on Nicktoons?
So just to finsih off Book 2: Earth starts soon on Nick UK so watch it!
(Dee! You didn't inform me as to where to get those cards! You say people actually pay for those pieces of crap? Pour souls...)
I'll cover a range of topics in this post. First off:
Bugsy Malone
Now, admittedly, I'm a bit depressed. Why? Because I cannot do the local musical this year. Too old, apparently, and they want to give the 'new talent' a chance. But this got me thinking: What new talent?
I may sound extremely vain for the first part of this, but stick with me. The said production is Bugsy Malone - the traditional 1920s-esque musical set in the time of prohibition, when gangland New York and Chicago were at their prime. It is typical for the roles in Bugsy to be played by children. It takes the seriousness out of the gory underworld that the show actually represents, apparently. This part, I'm happy with. I'm growing a tad old now - and in the movie; The parts were played by 13 yearolds anyway.
But come on, pushing us oldies aside with the explanation of 'letting new talent shine'? What a piece of shit. As in the movie: Ickle kids cannot sing. Well, very little of them can - and even a smaller percentage can sing well. Bugsy Malone has some of the greatest songs in a musical. Examples? 'Bad Guys' and, of course: 'So You Wanna Be A Boxer?' I don't want to see these classics butchered on stage by a bunch of high-pitched kids who have the collective memory of a goldfish and cannot even spell 'Boxer' - nevermind sing about one.
Sure, the movie worked because it was able to poke fun at itself. On top of that, the actors were all very self-aware, knew what they were doing, paid, and had the time to learn their lines. All of these factors are missing from the freakin' first years. I doubt they even know what 'satire' even is! Forget about defining it, knowing how to apply it and then get paid for it! It could be said that, sure, this argument can go for any grouping of amateur actors - except those said groups usually have the sense to let the older, more experienced ones of us have a go.
If the musical in question doesn't turn out to be an utter shambles, I shall retract this part of the post completely. If not, I'll be right again.
Google's Takeover Of YouTube
The world and his wife has commented on this topic, it seems. Although, none of us are really supposed to use the wording of 'takeover' - as that suggests hostility. Of course, Google's takeover was not hostile. In fact, I'd claim that Larry Page and Sergey Brin went over to the YouTube headquarters, smoked some of the good stuff with the YouTube staff, and then - somehow - were convinced into buying out the video site for $1.65 billion.
I mean, Google already have Google Video, don't they? Sure, that site is full of 15 minute-long World of Warcraft PVP videos and The Emo Song reposted over a few hundred times. That may sound a bit crappy, but is better than this:
And yes, that video was found featured, on the front page of YouTube. I mean; What exactly is the point in it? A shrimp running on a treadmill? Surely it should have an up-tempo OK Go soundtrack to cover over the deadly silence and maddened typing of over a million viewers commenting with something along the lines of:
"WTF IS THE PIONT IN DIZ? U PHAIL!"
To be honest, the fact that YouTube was so popular sort of assured me a little: For at least Google Video remains region-related (Really, who wants to watch clips advertising CBS over and over if we're British?), and fairly decent. In my honest opinion, I'd rather watch The Hoff's new video for 'Jump In My Car' than some shitty qualitity, boring-as-Hell emo kid rant on into his webcamera on the Tube. In my opinion, this was a purely business-related move. Google have eliminated their main competitor on the global market and have found a great new revenue source. Relating back to what I said before: I may not want to watch a gay-ass wannabe movie-maker emo rant into his webcamera in a feble effort to create a 'blog' - but it seems over a thousand other people do: So YouTube will (thankfully) remain the more popular and be the main attractor for trollers and flamers - leaving Google Video (which I believe is of the greater quality) smiling and smelling of roses. Oh, and slightly richer, too.
...So I recently just got some of those "exclusive" Windows Live Contact Cards. The website said around 28 days for delivery...waited about 4 months. It wasn't worth it.
Definitely the best part was the envelope it came in.
Impressive. Definitely stands out. Let's open it.
And the back...
Please Note: The "Proud Owner" isn't me. Probably Wombatlord or Melaisis. Meh.
So I was quite pleased to have finally got them, saw the quite impressive envelope and was thinking these cards must be good!...(One must think that I am a sad, sad, little man. Well am not I'm tall.)
Here is Windows' message to me...
What kind of impression will it be? (Not a rhetorical question the answer is crap.)
So now the final picture of this blog entry, and the moment you have been waiting for...the contact card:
One question springs to mind...I wonder what his Yahoo account is?
Now the cards are on very fine card and I have had them now about 3 hours and held them for about 7 minutes and already the corners are starting to dog ear. The colours are fading and the envelope is doing the same.
I am just pleased I got mine for free. I'd hate to be the guy who paid for them thinking they were to a high quality and then let down.
Its not all bad though they spelt my full name right...
Hello. It's another one of 'those' Internet-related articles. Ah well - this is one of my posts, after all. The Internet is something which I've studied for many a year now, and I know it like the back of my slightly boney hand. NewGrounds? MeatSpin? TubGirl? Old news. OK Go? Please, I was around when they made A Million Ways. Don't offend me by telling me about "diz kewl new band u fund on dat websight... er... utube?" because I saw it within forty seconds of it hitting the front page there five months ago. I've also got first comment on a featured YouTube video before. The human beatbox competition, I think. So, as you see - I am more than qualified to be talking about this sort of thing. Unlike those Trevor McDonald wannabes who say the Internet is making us all too violent and then show a couple of hundred images of the fighting in Lebanon. Oh, it's over? Nevermind.
Today, folks, I'm going to talk about Internet Dating! A general topic if I ever saw one!
Gather around, children - for Uncle Melaisis is going to tell you a story!
A long time ago, in a land far, far away - lived a dashing young girl. She wasn't too smart, or very witty, or... well, clever in any way, at all - but she was the most beautiful girl in all of the land. One day, the girl decided to get a MySpace account.
Instantly, she was popular. Her view count on her profile shot up through the hundreds of thousands. Her pictures were drooled over by men and women alike. She had Angles, sure - but who cared? This girl was hot! Except, anyone to encounter this girl would have an extraordinary problem:
They were unable to begin a conversation with her.
For the girl - despite being swooned over by many - was unable to talk in a coherent and (more importantly) interesting manner. Sadly, despite having the looks of a goddess - since no one was able to communicate with her past: "how r u?" "fine, u?" "same" - People quickly lost all interest and the girl became unpopular again. Sure, her pictures were alright to wank over and maybe leave an appropriate yet downright unoriginal comment to - but in all, she was useless on the Internet.
This, folks, is a situation I encounter almost every other week. I frequent MySpace nowadays - using that same old profile. As many people will tell you - I am a sociable type of person; especially when put in the right situations. MySpace is a 'place for friends' - so you would think this sort of surrounding suits me perfectly.
Wrong.
In real life, I wouldn't dare talk to an amazingly hot woman without either being introduced first, or have some sort of catalyst (D and T Conference, etc, etc). On MySpace - this is ruled out. Behind the persona of Patrick Swang, I can do just about anything. This, is bad.
You heard me: Bad.
Because, in general folks - many of the apparent hot women, are stupid as shit. I'm probably not supposed to say that - but it's true. Like demonstrated before, most conversations hardly get past: "how r u?" before they turn into the sobbing excuse for a conversation. Without a decent conversation - pictures are pointless. Disqualified, even. For I can't see you as you are now - or communicate with you in any way. Or read sign language. Or anything like that - which is the whole fun part of 'getting it on'. Without a decent, witty conversation to keep me hooked - most of the hot people on the Internet can fuck themselves.
As the title of this post suggests, I do indeed have news. News...of a wordy persuasion, news so wordy in fact. It uses WORDS (Or "lexical choices" if your Melaisis).
But first! I would like to extend my thanks to my fellow authors for inviting me to participate in this dark cabal of voodoo blogging, who knows what dark, twisted children will be birthed from the infested womb of this...collaboration. Only time will tell fellows, only time will tell.
But I digress, news. NEWS! I say. On Saturday (The 14th morn' of the month you mortals call "October") I will be boarding a flying machine, a flying machine destined for a distant land, with strange ways and a mysterious language, a land of people, people who put great worth in different types of shoes...
Shoes...for different occasions and even...different places!
This place my friends, this place is known as JAPAN!
Do not fear however, I may get a chance to post while I'm there...but then again, I may not. It all depends on these so called "Internets" just how many of these nets does this mysterious land posses? And if they do posses them, can I decipher their strange ways? We shall soon know.
Should I fail to decrypt their super highways of information, I will use an ancient method to keep my notes, and I shall then inform you upon my return. This ancient way has been mentioned once before...it is the way of paper. And dare I say it? INK!
And so my friends, it is time for me to leave you, for a time at least, but fret not fellows, I shall return in none too long a term, and when I do I shall bring you such tales as you would not believe! But you will...you will believe...because they will be true!
Hmmm. That is tough act to follow. But someones got to do it right? Or the blog with the overly long name wouldbe already dead. So i'm going to rant about...about...not being able to think about any rant topics.
It is the most annoying thing in the world (the internet world that is) and it always happend to me. Unless I have specifically sat down to write about a topic my mind will be as blank as the blank people of planet blanko blank (Which is quite blank.)
OFF-TOPIC START
Don't you think this blog entry sounds like it's trying to beat Melaisis' dosent it? No? Well am not trying hard engough. Or Melaisis sucks? Yeah the second one. Sorry to slow you down.
OFF-TOPIC END
Those who read my blog (Which I can count on one hand) will notice the lack of decent posts recently - who am I kidding? - ever and now I am trying some overly sad plugging idea, which I already know isn't going to work, and am just like "Why? Why must I my blog be so freakishly unpopular?" But now am starting to go over the same thing Melaisis just did. So I'm going to change the entire post idea now...
----
Written by: Dee4leeds
Hi welcome to my second post on this site ever. It is written by me...Dee4leeds (But for some strange reason I think you already know that.) I will be ranting about...about...
Did you know that I officially started blogging almost a year ago? Did you also know that I have made over thirty posts? Most of them utter shit, of course - but who's complaining? Time flies nowadays, ey?
So, to mark the start of my new year of blogging - I guess I'm posting in this blog - with it's utterly outrageously long name. No one on Earth can remember the title, except the very writers of the posts. Which makes sense, really - as we are the only ones who feel it needy to actually remember it. After all, like so many other bloggers out there, seperately, we only get three or four hits a day or week. Heck, even after a year I haven't even topped two thousand official views yet - although I like to think I have recieved more, before I put the counter in place.
Still, almost two thousand views isn't bad for an over-opinionated nerd.
Then again, a lot of people on the Internet (or 'web', as the news presenters call it nowadays. Despite that wording being years out of date. Get up to date, fucking ITV) know me from outside Blogger. I just link my blog to my faithful friends every time I make a new post, they click the link, and I get another view. It doesn't matter if they actually read the post or not - although I do usually tend to force them to. So, my view count is alright, considering I hardly advertise. The same applies for Dee, and for Mr. Wombatlord. But what about the hundreds of thousands of other bloggers out there? The ones with no friends who wander the Internet as they do? The ones who are unable to share their opinions (as I put it) en masse? Surely their blog is a waste of space?
Many people claim to say that they use their blog as a sort of diary. That's great. But really, couldn't a similar thing be kept to oneself by writing it on Word - or, even - on paper. Using ink. The sort of people who get no views and then say they didn't want any in the first place are bullshitters. If you didn't want any, why did you post it up? So just your friends can see? Why couldn't you tell your friends about the events described in your blog seperately? Why did you have to go waste valuable server space on your opinions forumulated out of nothingness?
The whole point in blogs to begin with was simply to get opinions out there. Journalists began using them, and then the public attempted to do the same. The whole point in blogging is that you are trying to spread your opinion to an audience. And hey, guess what? IF YOU GET NO VIEWS, YOU FAIL AT BLOGGING.
Haven't posted here in a long...long...long time. (I mean long) So guess I'm back...and with a vengeance, like die hard. Here we go...
Is Sexual harassment at work a problem for the self-employed?
I would say so, but would they give themselves in?
Where is Old Zealand?
Zealand is a province of the Netherlands. The province, located in the south-west of the country, consists of a number of islands (hence its name, meaning "sea-land") and a strip bordering Belgium. Its capital is Middelburg. Its population is about 380,000 and its area is about 2930 km², of which almost 1140 km² is water.
What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
"Dee bless you..."
What happens if you go on a survival course and you don't pass?
You see here the joke is emphasised on the word "survival." Survival is the act or fact of surviving, especially under adverse or unusual circumstances. So if you don't survive you die but a "survival course" is training to be come better at surviving under extreme circumcises - whoops I mean circumstances.
Who killed the Dead Sea?
The fat cats in Washington.
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?
VAT costs
What if someone died in the living room?
The normal rule in criminal law is that those accused of crime should be convicted of an offense only if they have committed the actus reus (the Latin for "guilty act") of an offense, accompanied by the necessary mens rea (the Latin for "guilty mind") element.Homicide is the act of one human killing another regardless of whether it was legal, intentional or premeditated. Justifiable homicide is legal homicide. Negligent homicide is the charge brought against persons, who by inaction, allow others under their care to die.Culpable homicide or manslaughter is unpremeditated criminal homicide. If the killer had intent but was provoked or had diminished capacity he would be guilty of voluntary manslaughter. If the death occurs due to some action that was reckless or criminally negligent with no intention to kill or cause serious injury it is called involuntary manslaughter. So there.
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