00: 36 - Another to add to the shameful female rockers list.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Written by: Dee4leeds

Well I have another to add to the list of female "rockers," the Sugababes, yeah I know what you're thinking... again "Sugababes, there not rock!" Well my friend they have tried. Did anyone watch the NME awards? I f you didn't, your lucky. They decided to do a cover of Arctic Monkeys hit "I bet you look good on the dance floor." My god don't try. The crowd should look like this...

Not

OK, not great pictures but you get the idea. They kept looking at each other like "What are the Words?"

"I bet you look good on the what prance snore?"

DANCE FLOOR, the line is I bet you look good on the dance floor. Yeesh! Plus the Arctic Monkeys didn't look pleased. I'll tell you what, if I was them I would be suing them for crimes against nature. Luckily they didn't win anything (and deservedly so) at the NMEs... or the Brits... or any thing. What can they win? NOTHING! ARHAHAHA! (Me) BAAHH! (Mel Brooks) HAR-HAR! (Nelson) UHH-UHH! (Family Fortunes) and some other one.

Even though the Sugababes have a new member since 'MUTT'ya left, they are still crap and should end there pathetic, pathetic sad little careers and start again in something like bin men as they sing rubbish (DA DUM TISCH!) Well that's another blog entry finished you see all that because they sing a song not meant from them to sing which brings me to another point: Cover versions.

But that's for another time, bye and remember... KEEP WATCHING THE STARS... because when they slip up I rant!

Labels: female?, rock band

Author: Dee4leeds | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

17: 43 - Female Rockers

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Written by: Dee4leeds

My god! what is wrong with the world? Kelly Clarkson, KT Tunstall, the LOVE BITES! Why cant female people rock. I guess the closest there is to a decent female rocker is Sheila E from the White Stripes.

Kelly Clarkson

I cant be arsed to say what some has already said (and probably better than I could)

Click for review
Click for painful performance

KT Tunstall
















I would normally say don't get me started, but then there would be no need for a blog. I hoped you watched the Brits if not...

Click for 101 in how not to rock

Now your ears are bleeding you can just read. Lets analysis her performance. Poor, poor, poor, poor, poor. It was just bobbing her shoulders up and down like a hill billy to her most famous song "Suddenly my ears bleed" until the ending where she showed her full value by doing a drum solo. Where you can see a man (Thank god!) drumming over the top of her. Maybe she should get some drumming lessons from me, (I cant drum, be still I'd be better than her) Maybe her dream is to be the next David Grohl (Foo Fighters and Nivarna) or Keith Moon (Tho Who). But nothing i have said can compensate for this next band.

The Love Bites











I think the above pictures says it all, the most rocking girl band ever!

Click for "great" video

I know what you are thinking "You have just wasted 164 seconds of my life and I want them back!" Lets have a look at the lyrics of this song (you may call it noise)

Chorus:
Well you broke my heart - How rocky! imagine AC/DC saying that
So I broke your nose - Better
And I'm not sorry - WOOOOOOOOO!
That I got blood on your clothes - Oh, right, that's it, blood on your clothes?

Well you broke my heart - You've already said that
So I dyed your eyebrows too - WOW! :|
And I'm not sorry - again?
That your mates all laughed at you - His mate laughed at him? Well i would say you've shown him how to rock

Well i have nothing left to do except change the lyrics of there song

Your Right!
Were Shite!
Your Right!
Were Shite!
Your Right!

You used to think your band would rule
We never thought your band was cool
These lines were change me, that's Dee
Lets shoot this song into the sea

I'd rather buy a Lexus
This song is very poo
We just cant wait for something new

[Chorus]
Just as bad as Mozart
A group of weirdos
And I'm not sorry
That it would sound better with banjos

Just as bad as Mozart
hard to find you on yahoo
And I'm not sorry
That you got a bad review

Remember when I taught you to dance
Yes i can, i was ina trance
This band is really dodgy
Still be bad, when am thirty

I'd rather buy a Lexus
This song is very poo
We just cant wait for something new

[Chorus]

Just as bad as Mozart
So i got a big tattoo
(And it says I hate you)
And I'm not sorry
This came from a mind of a youth

You wanted to come 'round to my house
You must be pervert for sure
You came up to my bedroom
You didn't want me to play no more

All their friends were saying
"Yeah, this is the deathblow"
But they don't care
What do they know

[Repeat Chorus]

Just as bad as Mozart
So I bid this band ado
And I'm not sorry
That your mates all laughed at you

Your Right!
Were Shite!
Your Right!
Were Shite!
Your Right!
Your Right!
Were Shite!
Your Right!
Were Shite!
Your Right!
Were Shite!

Author: Dee4leeds | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

10: 59 - Some more superheros you would never see

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Written by: Dee4leeds

Pimple Girl: Sidekick to the Human wart, she was born a pimple and has the ability to be a pimple. Come to think about it how does no body know who they are? I guess the people of Craterville can’t spot them out.

Artist impression: Clicky

Bunyan Boy: The other sidekick to The Human wart. He was born a Bunyan and has the ability to be a Bunyan.

Squirrel Man: likes nuts in winter.

G force: Has the ability to be a Gangster by being a gangster, he gained his ability by rapping against a radioactive rapper, he subsequently died.

Human child: A human child.

Rash man: has the ability to give everyone around him horrible rashes. In his secret life he is a doctor, he gets lots of work because when then come to see him they break out in rashes. I guess you could call this a curse but still it’s cool!

Blogger Boy: Has the ability to confuse

Author: Dee4leeds | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

19: 36 - Super Hero films

Monday, February 20, 2006

Written by: Dee4leeds

Once again it is time for me to have a rant about Hollywood. This time it is Hollywood’s repent onslaught on superhero movies. Let’s have a look at what started them all. "Superman" (1978) did well, had a sequel (hump.) In 1981 Tim Burton decides to make a movie version of "Batman" once again sequels. The next film was X-Men (2000) this movie just created a cult following. Next comes the film which started the boom. Sam Rami's "Spider-man" (2002) the extremely successful film, sparked Hollywood’s obsession. "With great power comes great responsibility," the famous lines uttered by Ben Parker. Hollywood had the power to make superhero films, but they had great responsibility to not overdo it, they failed, failed miserably. Hollywood noticed that there was ( I say was) a market for superhero films, so quickly placed into production were "Men in Black 2," "X2 - X men united," "Hulk" and "Daredevil." RUBBISH! (not so much men in black 2, but still wasn’t great) since then we have been "graced" with "Electra," "Blade: Trinity," "Spider-man 2" "Fantastic Four," "Batman Begins," "Hellboy," "Constantine," "Sin City," "Catwoman," "The Punisher," Man-Thing," "A History of Violence," "The Crow; Wicked Prayer" and "Son of the Mask" to name a few.

In wake of melaisis's latest post I thought what the hell lets have ago...

Oriental Clog making man: This superhero spends all day making oriental clogs. He gained his special powers by skydiving into a pit of radioactive clogs. (Like what you normally find) Now he must make clogs or the world could be destroyed.

The Human Wart: This guy is a wart just bouncing down the street. He has the ability to a wart and has to fit off such villains as "Acne man" and "The Washer"

Really Really Rich Spoilt Bastard boy: Well this guy has the ability to talk his parents into buying him anything. He uses him mommy and daddy extreme wealth to fight crime

Hobo boy: Has the ability to live on the streets and scrounge off anyone.

Copyright Infringement man: Has the power to have any power if it has been copyrighted, so he can fly, be lost on an island, run at high speeds, make the beast look beautiful, shoots webs, capture ghosts, use blogger, use commas, turn invisible, look after seven dwarfs, play dead, at a boy, rollover, sit, good boy, fetch, shake paws, good boy, here’s a treat, turn into a big green thing, be a judge on the X factor, be made out of stone, travel time in a phone box with Rufus, stretch, OWW!, Annie, are you ok, Are you ok, Are you ok, Annie, you've been hit by, you’ve been struck by, a smooth criminal, be a goldfish, turn on fire, heal quickly, pull a sword out stone, make biscuits limp, be papa smurf, hate napoleon dynamite, be little, make George Orwell right, he was right by the way, death to ants, control electricity, be the one, the two, or the three, ride ice, rap, ride elephants, fire heat beams out of his eyes, own a great site, www.c-r-a-p.piczo.com, be a 40 year old virgin, eat haggis, be a robotic cop, be copyright infringement man, be an earthworm in a super suit from space, laugh, make an alien ant farm, make alien ant, make an alien, sing happy birthday, control the weather, terminate, be god, create a theory of relativity, be a spy, have a freaky Friday, wear socks, wear the one ring, lick ice-cream, be from hell, pie, turn into metal, marry Richard, divorce Judy, me, myself & Irene, make the most scrumptious fudge-mellow delight ever, use mind control, be the resistance, enter the matrix, publish, be trapped on a spacecraft with an alien, go shopping, dodge bullets, make it so, be Donald trump, eat toast, be rich, stop bullets with his hand, be a dictator, breath and talk at the same time (which is really hard but he can do because some else can do it, I can do it and I am sure you cant do it but what is important that he can do it and the other guy who I wont speak off because of copyright infringement) use the force, become a wizard, be 13 going on 30, be shallow, be called Hal and of course drink thirst quenching coca-cola

Ass hole man: This guy has the ability to be an ass hole, he gained his special powers by being an asshole.

Well that concludes the Superhero rant; I hope Stan Lee doesn’t nick any of my ideas

Author: Dee4leeds | Comments: | Leave Your Response?

12: 00 - Hollywood

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Written by: Dee4leeds

What is it with hollywood?

Imagine sat around a table with the latest money making egg heads trying to think of what to do next. Then someone says i know lets do a sequal to some shit film made years ago.

Example: Big Mommas house (2000), what we like to call shit, not funny did extremly poorly at the box office. In the Uk it grossed a hefty £3,407,467 not much in hollywood espessically when the budget was £17,238,300 so thats a £13,830,833 loss.

Brillient hollywood lost loads of money so they make a sequal 6 years later, which is even worse

In the Uk Big mommas house 2 (2006) grossed a hefty, i am afraid to say lets do some maths again... £7,815,066.62 when the budget was £28,984,400 so thats a £21,169,333.38 loss.

So it must be the golden age for the movie making buissness now

So this brings to my next point prequals...why? why? why? why do they persist? Who wants them? they are just pointless. Hollywoods answer to unsliced bread. Lets take a look at an example...

Hannibal (2001)

prequals since

Red Dragon (2002)
Young Hannibal: Behind the Mask (2006)

Prequlas to come

Even younger Hannibal: Behind the other mask (2008)
Hannibal: In the womb (2011)
White Sperm (2012)

And most likely a sequal

Hannibal OAP: Wheres my biting teeth (2023)

And for my final part remakes. They make me cry. I cant stand them, please hoolywood leave classics alone do what Micheal Caine said remake shit fims like well i cant think of any but thats the point the films shit so make it better rather than slaughtering classics. Only once have Hollywood got a remake right...Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) the original was so fucking shit i think i slit my neck before the end.

All in all hollywood use new ideas!!

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